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Siren's poetry book

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:15 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
Hi, Siren here. I'm finally writing more poetry! This is my latest work.

The Angel from Out of Town

I was waiting for tomorrow
Hoping that it would come soon.
My heart was cold as stone.
Then I saw you and it melted
As the rain came pouring down
But there you were just standing
The loveliest I'd ever seen
Strange clothes you wore, could it be?
An Angel from Out of Town

As our eyes met there standing in the rain
Your gaze pierced my soul and
You read me like an open book
As our eyes parted ways
You sported a little smile
Then you turned and walked away
The Angel from Out of Town

I turned around to follow
To ask you for your name
But when I turned
You had gone
The Angel from Out of Town

The sun came out, the rain stopped
A dove flew in the air
Over the hills and far away
Were you really there?
The Angel from Out of Town


Please tell me what you think

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:50 pm
by TheMelodyMaker
Cool. :thumb: (Sorry... I'm no poetry critic. :lol: )

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:59 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
Thanks. Anybody else?

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:08 pm
by Taslin_Jewel
I love it! :sniffle: It made me cry...

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:41 pm
by Bunny
Very pretty. ^_^ Nice imagery.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:37 pm
by Icarus
Nice poem. I could say more, but then I could not be held responsible for the accuracy.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:35 pm
by Razgriz
Looks good, I agree on the imagery.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 7:48 am
by Danyasaur
nice! I love angels! XD! and I love this poem! *glomps you*

PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 4:09 pm
by GzusRcks
Very very good! *two thumbs up* Yesh, you're very good at the imagery aspects in poems! ^_^

PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 5:42 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
Imagery? Imagery? O.O
*gets elbowed by taslin*
oh that imagery
(>.> <.< What imagery?!?!)

PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2004 5:48 pm
by Inferno
I loved it, I love angels too!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 2:26 pm
by Taslin_Jewel
Siren is entering this poem in a local poetry contest, and she's really nervous about it.
They announce the results on the 26th, so keep your fingers crossed and wish her luck!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:07 pm
by Icarus
Good luck, milady!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:15 pm
by true_noir_chloe
Hope you the best, Siren. ^_^ EDIT: BTW, I liked your poem.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:44 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
A new poem I have written called "Broken Promise"

Broken Promise
I walked into school that day
that's when I saw you
When you sat in front of me in class
All I could do was write your name

I remember it so clearly
When you asked me to the prom
I blushed and I was tongue tied
But I managed to stammer yes

I remember us in college
Two love birds in a tree
I remember when the war started
and took you away from me

You promised to come back for me
How gullible you were
To think the promise you made there
Was a promise you could keep

My story is a sad one
so don't get it in your head
that all stories have happy endings
You'd have to eat what you had said

Here I am still waiting
As 20 years go by
I look in the window just to see his face
His broken promise sour on my lips

How could I have been so stupid
To believe in happy endings
Love is like a rotten egg
love is never fair!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 2:02 pm
by GzusRcks
aww, :-( that's really really good!! *glomps*

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 3:43 pm
by Bunny
Aww. So sad. You did very well, Siren! *high-five*

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2004 4:11 am
by Siren of Lyrics
Siren has been glomped
Siren: thanks for imput

PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:24 pm
by Anison Twilight
You are a very VERY good poet. You should develope it and maybe it can become a way to express yourself. You also have very good rhythm. The phrases you use flow like song. Good job.

PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 6:07 pm
by Taslin_Jewel
That was sad! But I liked it.

PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 6:08 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
Anison Twilight wrote:You are a very VERY good poet. You should develope it and maybe it can become a way to express yourself. You also have very good rhythm. The phrases you use flow like song. Good job.

thanks anison. here's a limerick I wrote for class hope you like it.

Ned's Head
There once was a boy named Ned
Who was lying asleep in his bed
When some ceiling fell down
He wore a sad frown
For he now had a bump on his head


This is my only poem with a happy ending.

Taslin: Happy ending? What happy ending?

PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2004 4:01 pm
by Siren of Lyrics
Wisdom of stars

The sky with immortal bonds
Will not last forever

Even a rock cold and hard
Will one day change

A river will alter it's course
to run down to the sea

At the end of every storm
There is a rainbow

Every cloud, no matter how dark
has A silver lining

On the day when everything comes to change
remember that...

Stars are mortal beings too
And one by one they will fall
No longer shining
Into darkness

Fo remember...
Do not be afraid of change
But like a cloud, look for the silver lining

So remember that...
Death is just another rain storm
And look for the rainbow beyond



this is a peom yah please comment

PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2004 4:03 pm
by The_Marauding_Maniac
SWEET! Another great poem by Siren!

PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2004 9:16 pm
by Icarus
Very good. There was one portion that I think could be edited

Stars are mortal beings too
And one by one they will fall
No longer shining
But dull
Into darkness


I think you could leave out the >>but dull<<, as it doesn't really add anything and it kinda throws off the flow.

That's just my two cents, good poem.

PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2004 3:00 am
by Siren of Lyrics
edited as requested icarus

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2004 9:00 am
by Icarus
I hope it wasn't just on my account. These are YOUR poems. Anything and everything I say is just so much wind unless you agree with it.