Postby copper » Sun May 08, 2011 9:19 pm
Testing, testing, one, two, three---
I'm typing, but can you hear me?
Well, something seems buggy, because I wrote a whole post and then it posted but disappeared immediately. In any case...
This is not even an outline, I reckon there are no fewer than twenty more stanzas to write. But I just wanted to poll for some reactions to the idea before I try to bang the rest of it out. Reluctantly I'm revealing it as a work-in-progress for reasons. So crucify me.
CRUCIFY, AN APOCALYPSE
[opening a post-apocalyptic scene]
I saw the earth from outer space
Through hazy stardust and debris.
She seemed to turn her shameful face.
Alas! it covered each degree.
[Alas! it wrapped 'round each degree.--less simple, but better assonance---but an abrupt break, which is counterintuitive to the sentiment & less natural]
[rewind to before the apparent catastrophe...]
I saw a different time and place
Transfix the moebius here and now
As if the universe's lace
Were knotted at the twist somehow.
[here a certain number of crosses are set up by people, one for each and every man, woman, and child---not for each to crucify upon them his own flesh, but for everyone to crucify all each other, out of hatred.]
I saw the earth from outer space
Through schadenfreude vindiction.
Thick and crimson flushed her face
At man's mass-crucifixion!
"And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart."