My entire short story.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:05 am
by Gabriel 9.0
Just take note that I was bored at the time I wrote this and was kinda pressured.
Anyway here is the link to my first work of writing:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/53489327/
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 5:16 pm
by Gabriel 9.0
Bump
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:42 pm
by Esoteric
Well, um, to be honest it doesn't read much like a story. It's reads like a detailed synopsis...summarizing what was said and done with a very detached feel. This is a good start, and you could certainly turn it into a exciting, engaging story with a bit more effort. It has promise, it just needs work.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:00 pm
by Gabriel 9.0
Esoteric wrote:Well, um, to be honest it doesn't read much like a story. It's reads like a detailed synopsis...summarizing what was said and done with a very detached feel. This is a good start, and you could certainly turn it into a exciting, engaging story with a bit more effort. It has promise, it just needs work.
Thanks for the comment, I figured it needed more effort in it.