November 18th
Smoke lay thickly over the street, mingling with dust and the fine mist from the morning rain. A man stood shell shocked in the road, mumbling ‘ce qui sur...’. A truck with the markings of the European Union lay thrown across the street, opposite a gaping, smoking crater in the road. One thought ran through the head of only other person on the street as he sprinted towards the brutally shredded truck.
This cannot be happening in Paris...
Kyle jerked awake, the wailing car alarms triggered by the blast resolving into both an alarm clock and telephone, each demanding attention.
This is the introductory paragraph from the story I am writing.
I'm working on typing more up, but probably will only post bits and pieces of it seeing as it is over 400 pages written and still being written...
Tell me what you think!
Catchy?
Boring?
Fun?
Annoying?
Alita Star and my writing project.
14 posts •
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
it looks good so far. I would like to read more of this.
"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"---
True Navigation: Two MIX
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Mimichan - Posts: 241
- Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there
Ill get more up in a month or so...my comp with the story on it is disconnected from the internet...I'm out of my dorm for X-mas...so it'll be a while.
So sorry.
So sorry.
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
Please contine. 
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")
It's cosplay, get used to it.
"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."
"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")
It's cosplay, get used to it.
"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."
"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Jaltus-bot - Posts: 1822
- Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:00 am
- Location: Almost there.
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Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
Godly Paladin wrote:A month? No fair! You don't get to reel me in then leave me!
Actually its worse than that cuz' I posted the month notice back in december... I'll try to get some more of it posted up past this teaser soon, now that I have readers.
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
Don't worry I'll read^^
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
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starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
The next post... (hopefully next week) will be a short story that I wrote that was set in the M2015 universe. It needs to be typed up first and edited a bit, but hopefully it will be fit for human consumption around monday. This will have nothing to do with the previous post as we are attempting to send that storyline in to the copyright office in 100 page pieces, and I need to type up the next 99 and 4/5 pages (or so... I dont know how much I actually finished before I stopped typing it up) before it gets printed. Alitastar's portion of the story may get up online first, at least in teaser form, seeing that it is closer to being copywritten (10 or 15 pages to go). Anyways... short story on monday.
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
mechana2015 wrote:The next post... (hopefully next week) will be a short story that I wrote that was set in the M2015 universe. It needs to be typed up first and edited a bit, but hopefully it will be fit for human consumption around monday. This will have nothing to do with the previous post as we are attempting to send that storyline in to the copyright office in 100 page pieces, and I need to type up the next 99 and 4/5 pages (or so... I dont know how much I actually finished before I stopped typing it up) before it gets printed. Alitastar's portion of the story may get up online first, at least in teaser form, seeing that it is closer to being copywritten (10 or 15 pages to go). Anyways... short story on monday.
*Waits*
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Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
So sorry! The loss of CAA pushed me back time wise a bit... it will be up ASAP. Currently there is a big computer trade off happening in our family w/ my desktop going to the office and me getting a laptop, and its doing interesting things with my computer use schedule.
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
The Update.
and finally....
The NYPD cruiser slowed to a stop behind a SWAT van, joining its red and blue to the myriad others lighting the area. The SWAT team captain looked up as the doors opened and two men stepped out, one confidently, the other cautiously. The rest of the officers turned and saluted upon recognizing the confidant person as the Chief of Police, NYPD.
The Swat captain saluted briefly then walked over to him.
"Chief why are you here?"
"Let's just say i can't leave alone and that i have a weird feeling about this situation. What's the story exactly?"
"Well... since you persuaded Winham, in all his rookiedom, to drive you out here, and can't really say anything..." Winham gave him a sheepish look.
"The basics of the situation are that we have two guys, origins and identities unknown in the atrium of the building, ground floor, with some tank like thing with a flame thrower type weapon on it. I have no freakin' idea where they got something like that either."
The chief looked at the building, and Winham's eyes followed, noting the melted hole in the side of the building. The chief turned back to the captain.
"Flame thrower type?"
"Blue fire though."
"What's your plan?"
"We called the department of water and power. We're hoping that when they cut power service to the building, it'll kill the weapon inside allowing us to safely approach and finish this."
"Were there any injuries?"
"The first two responding officers cruiser was hit and both have shrapnel and burn injuries, one has a third degree on his leg. We should be safe out here, though. We're at double the distance they were hit at. They shot one other shot while we've been here and it didn't even make the original mark."
"Have someone find the officers names out, I'll visit them after we conclude this." The commander nodded then glanced up as the block went black.
"Ah... the power"
Winham looked around at what he could now see by the lights of the cars and an orbiting police helicopter. Officers were beginning to move towards the edge of the barrier in preparation for a strike on the building. Winham moved up to the second line of cars and looked up to the building. It seemed to be internally lit. he turned to a nearby officer to ask why the lights were still on when it began to brighten. the officers in the first line quickly began to retreat and other officers began moving towards the back of the police line. A single spot of the heavily tinted window began turning blue then a heart stopping shriek tore through the air, snapping everyones attention to the building.
An arc of what looked to be a combination of fire and electricity shot out landing on the corner of the police blockade, tracing across the now vacant front row of cars and freeway barriers. The first car exploded hurling pieces everywhere. The engine block dropped on the hood of the car next to the one he was sheltering behind. He crouched even farther down when a freeway barrier detonated, spraying cocrete chunks everywhere and shattering cruiser windows twenty feet around. He looked up and saw the chief frozen in place. He leapt to push him down but was blasted backwards as another barrier detonated, triggering the car next to it into the beam and pitching huge pieces of car skyward.
The beam flickered then winked out.
Winham lay on his back and looked over to where the chief had been standing, hoping he had survived.
The chief still stood. A female officer with red and black hair stood in front of him though, jacket scorched and riddled with glass and debris. Half a car rested on her back and glass and metal shards stuck out of her hair.
"Med..."
The NYPD cruiser slowed to a stop behind a SWAT van, joining its red and blue to the myriad others lighting the area. The SWAT team captain looked up as the doors opened and two men stepped out, one confidently, the other cautiously. The rest of the officers turned and saluted upon recognizing the confidant person as the Chief of Police, NYPD.
The Swat captain saluted briefly then walked over to him.
"Chief why are you here?"
"Let's just say i can't leave alone and that i have a weird feeling about this situation. What's the story exactly?"
"Well... since you persuaded Winham, in all his rookiedom, to drive you out here, and can't really say anything..." Winham gave him a sheepish look.
"The basics of the situation are that we have two guys, origins and identities unknown in the atrium of the building, ground floor, with some tank like thing with a flame thrower type weapon on it. I have no freakin' idea where they got something like that either."
The chief looked at the building, and Winham's eyes followed, noting the melted hole in the side of the building. The chief turned back to the captain.
"Flame thrower type?"
"Blue fire though."
"What's your plan?"
"We called the department of water and power. We're hoping that when they cut power service to the building, it'll kill the weapon inside allowing us to safely approach and finish this."
"Were there any injuries?"
"The first two responding officers cruiser was hit and both have shrapnel and burn injuries, one has a third degree on his leg. We should be safe out here, though. We're at double the distance they were hit at. They shot one other shot while we've been here and it didn't even make the original mark."
"Have someone find the officers names out, I'll visit them after we conclude this." The commander nodded then glanced up as the block went black.
"Ah... the power"
Winham looked around at what he could now see by the lights of the cars and an orbiting police helicopter. Officers were beginning to move towards the edge of the barrier in preparation for a strike on the building. Winham moved up to the second line of cars and looked up to the building. It seemed to be internally lit. he turned to a nearby officer to ask why the lights were still on when it began to brighten. the officers in the first line quickly began to retreat and other officers began moving towards the back of the police line. A single spot of the heavily tinted window began turning blue then a heart stopping shriek tore through the air, snapping everyones attention to the building.
An arc of what looked to be a combination of fire and electricity shot out landing on the corner of the police blockade, tracing across the now vacant front row of cars and freeway barriers. The first car exploded hurling pieces everywhere. The engine block dropped on the hood of the car next to the one he was sheltering behind. He crouched even farther down when a freeway barrier detonated, spraying cocrete chunks everywhere and shattering cruiser windows twenty feet around. He looked up and saw the chief frozen in place. He leapt to push him down but was blasted backwards as another barrier detonated, triggering the car next to it into the beam and pitching huge pieces of car skyward.
The beam flickered then winked out.
Winham lay on his back and looked over to where the chief had been standing, hoping he had survived.
The chief still stood. A female officer with red and black hair stood in front of him though, jacket scorched and riddled with glass and debris. Half a car rested on her back and glass and metal shards stuck out of her hair.
"Med..."
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
- Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2003 12:33 am
- Location: Orange County
-
Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
applauds work.When I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")
It's cosplay, get used to it.
"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."
"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")
It's cosplay, get used to it.
"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."
"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
-
Jaltus-bot - Posts: 1822
- Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:00 am
- Location: Almost there.
Well...since you persuaded Winham, in all his rookiedom
that's just priceless ^^ "Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
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