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Broken Heart

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:52 pm
by Kawaiikneko
This was an idea that came to me a little while ago, so I wrote a little short for it. I might develop it into a story, or maybe an rp...

First, in explanation:

In the country of Lustle all the girls wear their hearts on their sleeves. Literally. Well, not quite so out in the open, per say. Each girl guards her heart carefully. Some may opt to give her heart away to a man, and others simply wait for one to ask to take it. Either way, as soon as a man takes the woman’s heart, the girl falls deeply in love with him.
But not all men ask for the heart. Thieves called heartstealers specialize in taking girls hearts through cunning and quick fingers. Of course, not evey man who takes a girl’s heart is a heartstealer. No, perhaps he was just too shy to ask for it. The second her heart is taken a girl falls in love, and there’s no other way besides that. But heartstealers, they’re different. Heartstealers steal the heart for the thrill of it. Woman have had centuries of practice to guard their hearts in the very best ways. Not necessarily violent ways, for not all woman are violent, but in their own sly way. Women are creatures of intelligence, whether or not man wishes to admit it.
So heartstealers steal hearts for the fun of it. Some collect hearts, and therefore their bearers. Some give the hearts away to the highest buyer. Some give the heart back to the girl with a wink and a grin. But the most malicious of all will crush the heart. Once a girl’s heart is crushed she will eventually die of a broken heart. The only way to cure this ailment is to put back together the shards of the poor girl’s heart. Unfortunately she is often wallowing too much in self pity to do any such thing, so the task falls to anyone who loves her enough to weld the pieces back together.
Heartstealers aren’t always so terrible though. The most renowned are often called upon to be a sort of matchmaker between shy man or stubborn girl. Other times a girl’s parents might organize a heart hunt to determine their daughter is paired with the most skilled heartstealer, which is usually synonymous with ‘most rich’. In any case, many girls become competitions, which most girls wouldn’t particularly mind at all.
But I mentioned before, girls are quite good at hiding their hearts. And these aren’t conventional hiding places mind you. All girls hide their hearts in different places. Some of the more bold may wear their hearts quite in the open. Others hide their hearts so it will only appear when a certain feeling comes over them, or a certain action is done to them.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:54 pm
by Kawaiikneko
Now the actual Short I wrote:

The room was dank and musty as evening fell over the small wayside town. A dark cloud had fallen over a certain house as a mother and a family friend crowded close to a half-closed door, peeking at the reclining figure within.

“Poor Teresa,â€

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:18 pm
by ninjaduckofdoom
Wow that's really cool. Very original idea!:thumb: Can't wait to read more!!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:27 pm
by TheMelodyMaker
It's not often that I look in here, but somehow this one caught my eye. It's really good... :thumb: ...but really sad, too. Now I can't help but wonder how a broken heart gets mended... ;__;

PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 1:53 am
by CreatureArt
I've got to say that I like the idea also. The little tidbit you've written is very intriguing. Good work so far. :thumbsup:

PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2005 1:22 pm
by Erin
that really good :thumb:

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:13 pm
by Naga Kisaki
THis is a very neat idea. Very original. I like it!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:08 pm
by starstoryteller
As soon as I read this this scripture verse poped in my head.

:pinned: "therefore guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

awsome story idea :thumb:

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:47 pm
by Sun.Ice
When I read half of the first post I was amazed. I just sat in my room saying, "Wow...WOW!" It is original like the KFC recipe!

God has blessed you with an amazing wonderful talent.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:51 pm
by TallHobbit86
wow is right! that was awesome! you're a gitfted and creative writer!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:58 pm
by Kawaiikneko
Oh man I completely forgot I posted this on here!! Thanks for the comments guys, even though you probably won't read this. ^^

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:00 pm
by Chii
I've read this story more than once...and I have to say it's truly wonderful.
I mean it's short yet it's so rich in details....increadible XD


I'm really surprised you don't have more comments.