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Poem "The Lost Knight"

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:36 pm
by Cinra
The Lost Knight

A strong warrior once wore heavy armor,
Able to bear the weight.
There were many battles,
All that he could face.
It kept him safe from many dangers,
Though he could not anticipate,
He was not fighting strangers,
But those so close it sealed his fate.
Long have the battles been over,
Yet still a lingering war,
Within the armor of this poor fighter,
Who is unable to tell,
Stuck in the armor,
Inside the past,
Darkness overcoming,
Depression vast,
The dark side shone through,
A dense mind that lasts,
Living in the world completely detached.
His defense became his enemy,
He cannot leave this place,
Lost and starving for love,
Now it is displaced,
The light cannot shine through,
His memory erased,
Faded away into nothingness,
Now he lives disgraced.

“And if we think that our present service for him is hard, just remember that some day we are going to sit with him and rule with him. But if we give up when we suffer, and turn against Christ, then he must turn against us.â€

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:41 pm
by Rachel
This is good. I really like your writing.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:20 pm
by Photosoph
Very deep; I like concept of the armour being no longer a defence but more like a prison.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:23 pm
by Icarus
Hi. I've not seen you around before, so welcome to the Alliance.

I noticed in this one and your other poem that the rhyme scheme falters for a bit in the middle, but comes together at the end. Mostly, it's ABCB, but here:
Long have the battles been over,
Yet still a lingering war,
Within the armor of this poor fighter,
Who is unable to tell,
Stuck in the armor,

you stretch it to almost ABCDB.

It's a good message, and aside from that bobble, not a bac poem.