CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Ok heres a story I wrote a while back. I was wondering if I could get some feedback so i can revise it. =) And the old man in the story is actually modeled after my own grandpa who tells some doozies to us all the time. He always mixs up the stories or make things up and tries to make us believe weird things. Like that cows had shorter legs on one side so they could stand on hills. But I would really appriciate some constructive critism =). Ok I know the story is really weird. But some feedback would be nice. I was thinking it'd be fun to make some illistrations for it too.

http://www.nekozuki.org/mine/ttooa.html

Very cool; I like your idea. I remember some of the crazy things I used to believe just because my Mum or Dad told me. I also couldn't understand the concept of an exaggeration, so I took a lot of what they said literally.
Your spelling and vocabulary are great. However near the start I did notice that you'd misspelt (d'oh, I hope misspelt isn't spelled 'mispelled', otherwise my editorial skills will be severely undermined. ~_^ ) 'curiously'. Also, it just seems like the story goes a little bit too fast -maybe you could add a few more things in, like sentences describing the boy's absolute innocent belief in his Grandpa's words, perhaps by writing about how his expression changes in response to what his Grandpa's telling him, etc. Because while I enjoyed your story, it just seemed to go too fast. ^_^"

Thank you. =) I'm glad you liked it. Those are some good ideas. I'll have to add those in when I revise later on. =) It definetly needs some work still. It's really different from what i wrote initially.

That's cool. ^_^ I'm glad you liked the ideas. All stories need work though -editing is an annoying (at least for me ) but needed thing.

Well my English professurs always said that a piece of writing is never really done. =) Because there is always room for improvement. Just depends on how far you want to take it. And I think that this is the best one I've written. it has a begining and end unlike most of the stories I wrote. But defintely has room for improvement. Besides its easier for someone else to see where improvement is needed then for the writer who is emotionaly attached to the woek. I really really appreciate that you gave me a suggestion. I'm a weido though I alwys liked getting brutal constructive critism. The more the better. Because its helpful. And I want to improve. =)

Besides its easier for someone else to see where improvement is needed then for the writer who is emotionaly attached to the woek.

I've found that to be true myself. ^_^
Personally, I've found criticism a little hard to take for my writing -although for some reason I'm finding it easier to take nowadays. Perhaps, like you, it's because I really want to improve. Maybe knowing that as a writer I might not be able to see mistakes in my writing that readers can also helps me to take criticism with a more open mind, too.