CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

...I wrote this poem when I first was realizing that my roommate and her boyfriend were not who I thought they were....
it isn't the best poem....any suggestions would be great...

What chaos brings forth such great confusion
possessed of innocence lost in wicked intentions
Shaken, not stirred
salt-rimmed glasses reflected in twighlight's repose
nights spent in insomnia's grasp
I waited-
Standing poised at the edge of evolution
aware of time sweeping
truth, realised by syllabic rainfall
Ears soaking up words
the drought finally ended by the opening of floodgates-
You sat near me, perplexed
my savage response to your secret resolution
retribution,
not intended to correct passed transgressions-
candy coated ice-crystals spun by false reasoning
and chance encounters...
melting into pools of mistrust
Remember, telephones ring even when no one is there to answer them.
My angel of mercy calls for those
whose repayment comes too late...

i think it's a wonderful poem personally alot of intense feeling, good metaphor, good imagery ^^

as far as criticism maybe putting it into stanza's to help pace the poem a little better. ^^

You do a good job of using colorful descriptive language, like "salt-rimmed glasses" and "candy coated ice-crystals." The poem is enjoyable to read for that reason alone.

My one caution is that you sometimes use phrases that clearly have a specific meaning for you but that don't really inform the reader of what that is, like "my savage response to your secret resolution." Obviously, you know what your response was and what the secret resolution was, but as a reader, I am left slightly puzzled about what exactly took place. This is fine if communicating the exact nature of the situation is not one of your goals for the poem, but you should just be aware that your reader might not understand certain things in the poem quite as well as you do.

Ahhhh, thank you both...
as for stanza breaks, I am terrible at figuring out where to put them....
any suggestions for that would be great....
as for clarifying meaning, I'll work on that....