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If You Like Morbid Poetry...Here's Mine...

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:34 pm
by Angel37
This is a little on the personal side of Angel that I don't really show around here....but tell me what you guys think....

"Bittersweet Memories"

A glimpse of majesty beholds your eyes,
I couldn't help but fall in love with the sky's
Reflection in a deep, blue window of the soul.
The soul...the blue eyes to the soul...

And suddenly I'm not talking about him anymore,
No I'm remembering nights of utmost beauty,
Feeling safe in the arms of a blue-eyed lover,
Laughing in the rose garden, silk white dresses cast aside.

No I'm not talking about him anymore,
I'm not talking about what I see before me everyday,
No, I'm remembering what I'll never see again.
A whispered "I love you", late for the Council, laughing...

A glimpse of heaven is captured in your stare,
I see within the hollow smiles, a hardened spirit,
A different person lies within your central self,
A different person...a younger person...

And suddenly I'm not talking about him anymore,
I'm remembering a child's voice calling out to me,
A desire to see him grow, see happiness, not death
In those big blue eyes that have beheld much pain.

No I'm not talking about him anymore,
I'm not talking about the innocence I see in him everyday,
No, I'm remembering a child I'll never hold again,
An innocent slain for the destruction of my entire world.

You know, I could say your eyes are like the sky,
In Pennsylvania covered with snow on a Christmas birthday,
Or like the sea you nearly drowned in, as a child long ago,
Or like the tears that fell when Cloud was taken away from us,

But I'm not talking about you anymore,
No, you can't be this nightmare I see before me.
Marks on a wrist, blue eyes staring down at me,
A muffled scream, a struggle ending in vain...

No, I'm not talking about him anymore,
I'm screaming for him in a place no one hears me,
I'm wishing for every soul I'd ever touched to save me,
As these blue eyes tear away everything from my body....

I'm standing at the docks in Alexandria again,
And no, I'm still not talking about him.
I'm remembering my dearest love with the blue stare
The red hair, the cry of a spirit who has given up hope.

I'm remembering everything we fought for,
How those blue pools of twilight glare at the sun
And scream out to God for a change in the weather
"It's too hot in this hellish place we roam...."

I'll take his hand dilligently on a plane not ours,
Lead him to my house with no swords forever
I'm still not talking about him, no I'm missing
The blue-eyed brother I scarcely see any more in my dreams...

A glimpse of myself can be seen within you,
I can see everything I try to hide in your aura,
Sometimes I wonder if you see the same thing in me...
In me......do you see....yourself?

No, I'm not talking about oniikun anymore...
But it's about time I did.
These memories are all I have,
And I want desperately to give them
A happy ending....

-Crash Metallium 3-20-05

PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:59 pm
by true_noir_chloe
Again, I must add that I'm no poet and am not a very good judge what is "good" poetry, meaning pentameter and other "meter-type" things. I do understand when I read something out loud it show flow in a very free pattern, and when I read this aloud it did do that.

I really enjoyed this poem. :) It seems like a song. I just wanted to say this is really well done if I compare it to other poetry I've read. When I read it out loud the timing seemed to flow well and how you kept going back to "... not him anymore." That was really beautiful.

I'm not sure I understand whom it was about or what it was about, but I liked it. :sweat:

Great job, Angel! :thumb:

PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 3:52 pm
by Angel37
true_noir_chloe wrote:Again, I must add that I'm no poet and am not a very good judge what is "good" poetry, meaning pentameter and other "meter-type" things. I do understand when I read something out loud it show flow in a very free pattern, and when I read this aloud it did do that.

I really enjoyed this poem. :) It seems like a song. I just wanted to say this is really well done if I compare it to other poetry I've read. When I read it out loud the timing seemed to flow well and how you kept going back to "... not him anymore." That was really beautiful.

I'm not sure I understand whom it was about or what it was about, but I liked it. :sweat:

Great job, Angel! :thumb:


Aw! I'm touched! Thank you! It's more me talking about the man I love but then traveling back to remember other people who remind me of him. But the symbolism's more for anyone to figure out. I want it to mean something to the reader through their interpretation, not mine. But thank you so much! *hugs* It really made my day to hear you liked it. ^_^
<3 Angel

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:45 am
by Anna Mae
I like your poem; it has a lot of good symbolism in it. Good job!