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"Holy One" & "El Santo"
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:14 pm
by LostChild
oops! i meant to call it "El Bendito" not "El Santo;" sorry.
who can speak/ read spanish? i wrote a poem about God in English, and translated it into Spanish if anyone wants to read either of them.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:15 pm
by LostChild
okay, first the English version:
Holy One
You died for me,
You took away my shame.
You know my every thought,
You alone can be my Holy One.
How many times
Have I wronged You?
How awesome it is that You could come to say,
“Henceforth, it is finished!â€
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:16 pm
by LostChild
y ese en Espanol:
El Bendito
Usted murió por mÃ,
Usted quitó mi vergüenza.
Usted sabe cada uno de mis pensamiento,
Usted solo puede ser mi Bendito.
¿Cuántas veces
Le he fallado?
Que impresionante que Usted pueda decir,
"Adelante, se acabó!" mi Bendito.
Solo en la Cruz, Usted murió por mi
Cualquier persona que ha vivido.
Ninguna joya podrÃan compensar
El dolor agonizante que Usted aguantó para mÃ, mi Bendito.
Mi vergüenza cuelga en Usted de los
Muchos años que tengo pecando.
Mi vida estará siempre en Sus manos,
Espero que Usted me protege, y me guarda, mi Bendito.
Cuando me recuerdan lo
Lo que Usted ha hecho, me pregunto
"Quién podrÃa pensar.
Caminar lejos de usted, mi Bendito.â€
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:55 pm
by SorasOathkeeper
Oh Lost, that was so good.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:09 pm
by LostChild
thanx.
i'm gonna send it to Antonio. u remember him, right?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:14 pm
by SorasOathkeeper
Eh...no....i don't think so...
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 6:39 am
by LostChild
well, he's the kid we sponsor that lives in Guatemala. ringing any bells now?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:27 pm
by SorasOathkeeper
YES!^ ^ Sorry, i dodn't rembore his name, but now i know!^ ^ I'll bet he will love it!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:37 pm
by LostChild
I hope he does.
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:47 pm
by Kaori
Although the form of this poem is not particularly complex, its simplicity has a somewhat winsome quality to it. Your use of biblical language is done well; the poem almost has a psalmlike feel. The repetition of the name "my Holy One" and the final stanza echoing the opening one, were also fairly effective.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:54 am
by LostChild
thank you. not that i had noticed it, but many people have actually said a trait that shows up in many of my poems is the repetition of the first stanza in the last one. its weird how people do those sort of things subconsciencely. even if most of my poems are like, lame; anything from praising God, to rangers roaming the west and people working in coal mines.
who has any poems that i can read? u can post it here if ya want!
