CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I haven't posted any writing publicly in quite a long time...so go easy on me. this particular excerpt should stand well enough on its own, but if you have any questions about characters, etc, just ask.

*huff* well, here we go. O_o *hides*

Aw! That's really cute and very well written! ^^ Poor, Adrian. I've been there, lol.

thanks ^_^;;;

Uwaa, it's adorable! I love the extensive details at the beginning; it perfectly portrayed the sense of dread and stalling that I know far too well. XD I'm glad it had a happy ending. *special glomps for Adrian*

kekeke...thanks girls n_n/)

<.< >.> *steals the Twinkies for herself and runs off with them* nyahahaha

I printed it out to read at my leisure - its half-time on the Colts/Patriots game XD - and will get back with you on comments. I know it will be a pleasure to read because I've read your writing before and know you write very well. ^_______^

Okay, pretty good. I'm not much for romance-stuff, but it was interesting.

It was very...cute. You said this is an excerpt; does that mean that at some point in the future we will be graced with the rest of the story from which it came?

perhaps at some point. right now the story as a whole is pretty incomplete; as far as planning, it's finished, but actually -writing- everything is what's taking so long.

to be honest, I suffer without criticism. but I'm often too afraid to show my writing to people. that's fun, isn't it?

well, I wrote the continuation of this scene. if anyone wants to see it, PM me and I'll send it to you. or if enough people want to see it, I might post it here.

sorry to double post, but I'm gonna go ahead and attach that file.

Okay, I read the first part and this most recent section with the dinner scene. I think you do great with description. You have great build up. You totally drew me into Adrian, Julian and Marianne's personality.

May I ask, who is Marianne? Is she his mom? Should he call her mom? Should you refer to her as mom? I just found that a little different.

I also think you should try writing romance novels. I think you have that down. XD In fact, its a bit too heavy on the romantic language - might want to tone it down.

Anyways, you are an excellent writer - in a technical sense. There are some sentences I might have re-structured; but overall, very good. ^_____^ I thought it was very, very good. ~_^

Marianne is just a guardian, not legally his mom. it's kinda complicated.

well, I think I'm bad at this romantic stuff -__-

anyway, I'm glad you liked it.