How to Write Quality* Fanfiction
PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2003 9:42 am
First off, I should say that this is not really about writing fanfiction in any way, shape or form. It's just something I scrapped
together after being unable to find anything worthwhile to read on fanfiction.net. I consider this piece to be mildly humorous,
though I'm not humor writer. Even with no knowledge of DBZ, you should find a few things funny, though knowing DBZ would
make it better.
There's a folder in my computer titled Cynicism. This is from it. Be warned.
-
Writing fan fiction is an art that is rarely given it's due. The internet is swiftly filling with a wave of low quality stories, giving a
bad name to all it touches. This cannot be tolerated. In the interest of improving general quality, I have provided here a simple
guide for writing good fan fiction. For this document we will use Dragonball Z, a very commonly fan-written
anime/manga/franchise, as our example.
First off, you should have a good name, something that will make people want to read your story. Fan fics must have clever
titles like: The Strongest Saiyan, A New Saiyan, Terror of the Saiyans or Everybody Loves Saiyan. Also popular (and thus
right) is the word Return. These can be used in clever ways, such as Return of Cell; Return of Buu; Return of Frieza; Return of
Saiyan; Return of Cell, Buu, Frieza and Jerry Springer. There is one word, however, that is an instant turn-off. This word is far
overused on the Internet, and is just plain in bad taste. Whenever you are writing a fan fic, please avoid using this word in the
title: codfish.
The general feel of your story should be dark and involve much fighting and blood. Remember that there is no humor in the
Dragonball Z universe and your fic should reflect this. If you want to do something with a humorous nature, you must not
include anything serious. As everyone knows, these two cannot possibly mix. If you are writing a humorous fic, there are certain
guidelines that must be followed, or the Internet will crash and your hard drive will eat your stuffed animals (this is called RAM).
At least that's what I think happens, because I haven't seen any fics that violate these rules. Ahem- anyway, here are the said
rules. Your fic should include constant lewd comments, disgusting and vulgar subject matter, and include "politically incorrect
words" at a rate of at least four per line. On a completely unrelated topic, let's talk about lemons.
Of all the methods of fanfic, the lemon is the oldest and most commonly used. This means you should do it a lot, because some
genres never get old. All lemons are based on a common concept: people are boorish, crude pigs. This is true. Even if you're a
sixth grader who can't look at the opposite gender without blushing, don't let this stop you. Remember- creativity is a good
thing. If you ever run out of ideas, do something yoai and call everyone who speaks to you a politically incorrect, bigoted
hypocrite. Everyone should write a few Bulma/Vegita lemons, because they are in sad supply on the Internet. Ha ha! No,
seriously folks, there are already plenty. This means you should make at least eight, and contribute to a little something that we
like to call "variety." I suppose, if you're feeling really adventurous, you could put a new twist on the story, or set it in an
alternate universe. (You rebel, you!)
It is a controversial issue, but some writers claim that having characters in your story can be a good thing. Give your characters
interesting names like Larry, Tom or Tom Larry. They will always begin the story stronger than everyone else for no apparent
reason. Any character can become stronger in two lines than anyone else can after training for eight years. Remember, you
should never think of a new villain, as these would confuse the reader. Take an old villain and make them return, after tacking
on a clever prefix, like Super, Ultra or Meta. If you want a sequel, just keep tacking on more of them. If you are trying to aim
for a very intelligent audience (rocket scientists or so), you might go all out and turn a good guy and make them into a bad guy.
Not only is this extremely clever, it also prevents you from having to come up with a new name. Just adding "Dark" before the
name will work wonders. For example: The Return of the Strongest Saiyan: Super Dark Meta Goku, part IV. There is no need
for villains to be stronger than the previous ones for any reason, villains automatically are ridiculously strong. You can have
Mega Cell, the dark god of the universe followed by Ed, the drunk bum and have both battles be of equal difficulty for the
fighters. Never let it enter your mind that you should have the villains ascend in power or anything so silly.
For a second, let's talk about the protagonist (latin for "tofu pudding"). If your character is a kid, they should not have any
parents, just a slightly strange old grandfather. Fire is good. Make their parents die in a fire. Make all your protagonists have
parents who die in a fire. If he is an adult, having parents is fine, but only if at some point they are killed in a fire. If not, just
never talk about them, no one will ever notice. There is a law in 47 and 1/2 states and 13 Canadian provinces that says your
main character should be shady and mean. He should also hate his father, not know who is father is, have his father show up as
the bad guy at the end, or be his own father and not know it.
On the Internet you will find vast numbers of different ways to spell any particular name. Remember, it would be wrong to be
close-minded and assume that someone who spells Krillin as Crylon is a bad person. Everyone is special, even if they show the
intelligence of partially mixed cement! As long as they don't hurt anyone, they can do whatever they want, it's their RIGHT! So
if someone wants to spell Goku as Ihatejewslonglivehitler, that's fine with them. Anyway, here is a guide of the most commonly
accepted ways of spelling names:
Goku- Gokouu
Vegita- Veggible
Yamcha- Ymcha
Tien- Ymcha
Chichi- kiki
18- 13
Krillin- Krrlyn
Hercule- Mr. Satin
Piccolo- Amway
Fun Fact!
Nappa actually means cabbage! Wow! Tell that one at a party and watch
all the guests remember important dental appointments!
Villains are an important part of any story, unless you just want to have two characters kill each other for no reason. This is
actually a tried and true old method of making a story. One classic strategy is to have Goku and Vegita fight. They will always
hate each other, Goku will always be incredibly dumb, and Vegita will always be evil. Every new author should make at least
four of these after the Bulma/Vegita fics and help contribute to the number on the Internet. Assuming you use a villain, however,
the best strategy is to make old villains come back repeatedly (see the above paragraph on villain naming). This is comforting to
readers, because it is familiar. Also, use the same plotline for every story, and copy that plotline off the show. If a bad guy has
only one form, he isn't a true bad guy. True villains can transform into anything from hulking brutes with spikes and horns, to
hulking brutes without spikes and horns, to hulking brutes with either spikes or horns. Should a good being ever fuse with an
evil being under any circumstances, the evil being will slowly take over, because good is dumb.
Battle sequences are always an important part of any Dragonball Z fan fic, and special attention must be given to them.
(Translation: have 3 pages of battles for every line of dialog/description) To be fair, a character must shout out the name of his
attack before using it. The more powerful the attack, the longer it takes to say. This is something strategists call the element of
LETTING THEM SEE IT COMING. Complex action scenes cannot be tolerated. Readers cannot understand anything more
than punches, kicks and ki blasts, which must be accompanied by much yelling. Here is a good example:
An inferior sentence: Arcing in midair, Goku barely evaded Vegita's punch. Continuing his arc, he plowed a knee into
Vegita's back, sending the saiyan prince into the ground.
The new and improved version: Goku hit Vegita. Vegita fall.
It's not necessary to use quotation marks, paragraphs or even complete sentences in your writing. Making your fan fic as
confusing as possible is key. This keeps the reader guessing, which is called "suspense." There is also something from dark
legend called an "adjective." Despite the fact that I've told you nothing about it, you should never use one of these. Ha ha! Just
a little writing humor there! Please put down your machetes! Actually, an adjective is defined by the Oxford Cambridge Olde
Book o' Stuff as: "a word that describes a certain type of cheese, and lays eggs but has no hair." Now you know.
together after being unable to find anything worthwhile to read on fanfiction.net. I consider this piece to be mildly humorous,
though I'm not humor writer. Even with no knowledge of DBZ, you should find a few things funny, though knowing DBZ would
make it better.
There's a folder in my computer titled Cynicism. This is from it. Be warned.
-
Writing fan fiction is an art that is rarely given it's due. The internet is swiftly filling with a wave of low quality stories, giving a
bad name to all it touches. This cannot be tolerated. In the interest of improving general quality, I have provided here a simple
guide for writing good fan fiction. For this document we will use Dragonball Z, a very commonly fan-written
anime/manga/franchise, as our example.
First off, you should have a good name, something that will make people want to read your story. Fan fics must have clever
titles like: The Strongest Saiyan, A New Saiyan, Terror of the Saiyans or Everybody Loves Saiyan. Also popular (and thus
right) is the word Return. These can be used in clever ways, such as Return of Cell; Return of Buu; Return of Frieza; Return of
Saiyan; Return of Cell, Buu, Frieza and Jerry Springer. There is one word, however, that is an instant turn-off. This word is far
overused on the Internet, and is just plain in bad taste. Whenever you are writing a fan fic, please avoid using this word in the
title: codfish.
The general feel of your story should be dark and involve much fighting and blood. Remember that there is no humor in the
Dragonball Z universe and your fic should reflect this. If you want to do something with a humorous nature, you must not
include anything serious. As everyone knows, these two cannot possibly mix. If you are writing a humorous fic, there are certain
guidelines that must be followed, or the Internet will crash and your hard drive will eat your stuffed animals (this is called RAM).
At least that's what I think happens, because I haven't seen any fics that violate these rules. Ahem- anyway, here are the said
rules. Your fic should include constant lewd comments, disgusting and vulgar subject matter, and include "politically incorrect
words" at a rate of at least four per line. On a completely unrelated topic, let's talk about lemons.
Of all the methods of fanfic, the lemon is the oldest and most commonly used. This means you should do it a lot, because some
genres never get old. All lemons are based on a common concept: people are boorish, crude pigs. This is true. Even if you're a
sixth grader who can't look at the opposite gender without blushing, don't let this stop you. Remember- creativity is a good
thing. If you ever run out of ideas, do something yoai and call everyone who speaks to you a politically incorrect, bigoted
hypocrite. Everyone should write a few Bulma/Vegita lemons, because they are in sad supply on the Internet. Ha ha! No,
seriously folks, there are already plenty. This means you should make at least eight, and contribute to a little something that we
like to call "variety." I suppose, if you're feeling really adventurous, you could put a new twist on the story, or set it in an
alternate universe. (You rebel, you!)
It is a controversial issue, but some writers claim that having characters in your story can be a good thing. Give your characters
interesting names like Larry, Tom or Tom Larry. They will always begin the story stronger than everyone else for no apparent
reason. Any character can become stronger in two lines than anyone else can after training for eight years. Remember, you
should never think of a new villain, as these would confuse the reader. Take an old villain and make them return, after tacking
on a clever prefix, like Super, Ultra or Meta. If you want a sequel, just keep tacking on more of them. If you are trying to aim
for a very intelligent audience (rocket scientists or so), you might go all out and turn a good guy and make them into a bad guy.
Not only is this extremely clever, it also prevents you from having to come up with a new name. Just adding "Dark" before the
name will work wonders. For example: The Return of the Strongest Saiyan: Super Dark Meta Goku, part IV. There is no need
for villains to be stronger than the previous ones for any reason, villains automatically are ridiculously strong. You can have
Mega Cell, the dark god of the universe followed by Ed, the drunk bum and have both battles be of equal difficulty for the
fighters. Never let it enter your mind that you should have the villains ascend in power or anything so silly.
For a second, let's talk about the protagonist (latin for "tofu pudding"). If your character is a kid, they should not have any
parents, just a slightly strange old grandfather. Fire is good. Make their parents die in a fire. Make all your protagonists have
parents who die in a fire. If he is an adult, having parents is fine, but only if at some point they are killed in a fire. If not, just
never talk about them, no one will ever notice. There is a law in 47 and 1/2 states and 13 Canadian provinces that says your
main character should be shady and mean. He should also hate his father, not know who is father is, have his father show up as
the bad guy at the end, or be his own father and not know it.
On the Internet you will find vast numbers of different ways to spell any particular name. Remember, it would be wrong to be
close-minded and assume that someone who spells Krillin as Crylon is a bad person. Everyone is special, even if they show the
intelligence of partially mixed cement! As long as they don't hurt anyone, they can do whatever they want, it's their RIGHT! So
if someone wants to spell Goku as Ihatejewslonglivehitler, that's fine with them. Anyway, here is a guide of the most commonly
accepted ways of spelling names:
Goku- Gokouu
Vegita- Veggible
Yamcha- Ymcha
Tien- Ymcha
Chichi- kiki
18- 13
Krillin- Krrlyn
Hercule- Mr. Satin
Piccolo- Amway
Fun Fact!
Nappa actually means cabbage! Wow! Tell that one at a party and watch
all the guests remember important dental appointments!
Villains are an important part of any story, unless you just want to have two characters kill each other for no reason. This is
actually a tried and true old method of making a story. One classic strategy is to have Goku and Vegita fight. They will always
hate each other, Goku will always be incredibly dumb, and Vegita will always be evil. Every new author should make at least
four of these after the Bulma/Vegita fics and help contribute to the number on the Internet. Assuming you use a villain, however,
the best strategy is to make old villains come back repeatedly (see the above paragraph on villain naming). This is comforting to
readers, because it is familiar. Also, use the same plotline for every story, and copy that plotline off the show. If a bad guy has
only one form, he isn't a true bad guy. True villains can transform into anything from hulking brutes with spikes and horns, to
hulking brutes without spikes and horns, to hulking brutes with either spikes or horns. Should a good being ever fuse with an
evil being under any circumstances, the evil being will slowly take over, because good is dumb.
Battle sequences are always an important part of any Dragonball Z fan fic, and special attention must be given to them.
(Translation: have 3 pages of battles for every line of dialog/description) To be fair, a character must shout out the name of his
attack before using it. The more powerful the attack, the longer it takes to say. This is something strategists call the element of
LETTING THEM SEE IT COMING. Complex action scenes cannot be tolerated. Readers cannot understand anything more
than punches, kicks and ki blasts, which must be accompanied by much yelling. Here is a good example:
An inferior sentence: Arcing in midair, Goku barely evaded Vegita's punch. Continuing his arc, he plowed a knee into
Vegita's back, sending the saiyan prince into the ground.
The new and improved version: Goku hit Vegita. Vegita fall.
It's not necessary to use quotation marks, paragraphs or even complete sentences in your writing. Making your fan fic as
confusing as possible is key. This keeps the reader guessing, which is called "suspense." There is also something from dark
legend called an "adjective." Despite the fact that I've told you nothing about it, you should never use one of these. Ha ha! Just
a little writing humor there! Please put down your machetes! Actually, an adjective is defined by the Oxford Cambridge Olde
Book o' Stuff as: "a word that describes a certain type of cheese, and lays eggs but has no hair." Now you know.
Don't read it either...The last time I tried, my brain about had a meltdown, and I think my IQ dropped about 20 points as a result.
This is great UC. Sadly, the parts about the Mary Sues, the stupid technical writing errors, and the utter OOCness defines much of the Trigun section of ff.net lately. There are some good stories there, but lately the newbie writers have been nothing but a constant barrage of this kind of literary spew. 
