Still not feeling accepted around others...

[Shao Feng-Li]

So anyone know of any good preachers that know how to deal with stuff like loneliness? Other than that my people skills are getting better, but part of the problem is that I'm just not meeting new people.

Sermon Audio tends to be a good place.
http://www.sermonaudio.com/search.asp?c ... word=Lonel

[dothackzero]

I have to ask though, is your focus really on God as you are going through this?

Honestly the core of it that I feel accepted by God but not by other people... Btw, I do accept myself. I do enjoy my time of solitude, I just don't want it be all the time.

[theblackmist]

I find http://www.meetup.com to be a good way to meet new people! And wow, this reminds me of how badly I was treated at my University in Florida (Stetson University).

[Xeno]

I have to ask though, is your focus really on God as you are going through this?

Honestly the core of it that I feel accepted by God but not by other people... Btw, I do accept myself. I do enjoy my time of solitude, I just don't want it be all the time.

Enjoying being alone some times is not the same as accepting yourself.

[Nate]

PIf you instead of looking at yourself would fix your eyes on Christ, and let him rule over your life, then this extreme need for intimacy would be satisfied.

I keep asking Jesus for intimacy but he always dodges the question. ;~; Do you think he thinks I'm fat? Or is it my beard?

[Xeno]

PIf you instead of looking at yourself would fix your eyes on Christ, and let him rule over your life, then this extreme need for intimacy would be satisfied.

I keep asking Jesus for intimacy but he always dodges the question. ;~; Do you think he thinks I'm fat? Or is it my beard?

It's your eyebrows. Gotta pluck 'em bro.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Yeah I'm not into those bushy eyebrows, Nate. If you plucked them then you'd see me far more frequently.

[Ante Bellum]

MSP is Jesus?

[dothackzero]

So then what do I do to fix the root problem of loneliness? I mean I already have good relationship with God where I can talk to him about anything and everything I need or want too. So it's not a lack of relationship with God.

[K. Ayato]

Have you even told Him about this? <_<

[dothackzero]

Have you even told Him about this? <_<

Pretty much daily.

[K. Ayato]

Are you being honest in your conversations with Him? By that, I mean holding absolutely nothing back.

[dothackzero]

Are you being honest in your conversations with Him? By that, I mean holding absolutely nothing back.

He's my daddy, so of course I'm not holding anything back.

[Xeno]

So then what do I do to fix the root problem of loneliness? I mean I already have good relationship with God where I can talk to him about anything and everything I need or want too. So it's not a lack of relationship with God.

See a psychiatrist.

Or you know...just keep doing what you've been doing.

[dothackzero]

So would getting to point where I know getting a girlfriend won't fix my loneliness but still want one anyway. While I'm searching out for friends, while I'm searching out doing other things to get rid of my loneliness? Because right now starting to look like a lot of will have to do with finding self confidence/self value by knowing who I am in Christ.

[Xeno]

No, you need to work on figuring your stuff out independent of whether there is a spooky magic deity running space or not. Your problem, and a lot of people's problems, is that you get so caught up in these weird and obscure sects of Christianity that screw with your heads and how you view reality. Figuring out how to deal with your life by yourself is what you need to do. You have no coping mechanisms. If all you do is pray to someone who is inevitably going to always back up what you want, you will not grow. If you can't make real progress instead of just coming back here over and over again looking for some back patting because you're still lonely and can't get over it, then get out and stay out.

[K. Ayato]

Get it through your head that there's no quick-fix solution.

[dothackzero]

Get it through your head that there's no quick-fix solution.

I never said that I thought it would be a quick solution. What I was asking was that in the mind set that knowing having a girlfriend/wife won't fix the loneliness, but still wanting one a lot better position to be in while looking. Then just being looking and thinking that getting one will fix the whole problem with nothing else.

[Xeno]

get out

[dothackzero]

So yeah, remember the girl I was thinking about calling for months. Well, I've finally called her, though we didn't have a chance to hang out today. Hopefully will be able to tomorrow. ^_^

[Vilo159]

So yeah, remember the girl I was thinking about calling for months. Well, I've finally called her, though we didn't have a chance to hang out today. Hopefully will be able to tomorrow. ^_^

Instead of leaving it to maybes, why don't you call her and work out a date? Even if its not for a week or two, at least its set in stone then. It takes a bit of priority. But when you say, " Oh, how about today?" its too sudden to take precedence over whatever else they have. Call her up again, and see if you can set up a date for say, friday the 24th. Or this saturday. Or anything, really. Find a date and make an official plan with her, otherwise it's probably not going to ever happen. And if it does, the lack of planning will make it not go as well as it could.

And after you've called and set an official date and time, think of stuff to do. Have a backup plan as well. Drawing a blank and sitting awkwardly until one of you thinks of something isn't too fun, and doesn't make you look that great either.

[dothackzero]

I would, but all my friends including her are last minute people. So we basically have to work things out in the last couple of hours before we hang out. Besides, I'm looking for to hang with her with my group of friends for now, and eventually goto her group of friends since mine are mostly leaving a few months. But yeah don't worry, I'm only looking at her as a friend. Not someone I'm just gonna go out and date.

So yeah, I was gonna hang out with her tonight my cousin couldn't hang out tonight. So plans fell through, and I left behind a awkward text basically saying that nothing is going on tonight, and we should probably try again next week. Which is kinda stupid since I'm gonna be in church tomorrow, and she is a church girl.

Basically, I'll probably be nervous and carefull about this until we can hang out outside of church and with friends and have a fairly constant thing. After that I should be able to settle down and not be so nervous about this...

[Xeno]

I would, but all my friends including her are last minute people. So we basically have to work things out in the last couple of hours before we hang out.

lol, that's p funny. i too like setting myself up for failure.

[Davidizer13]

Dude, just take the lead on this. Be proactive for a change, make up a plan for what you're going to do beforehand instead of bumbling around trying to come up with one on the spot. It makes people think you care about what's going on, too.

[mechana2015]

It is administrations decision that this thread has served it's course and purpose.
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