Nate (post: 1598668) wrote:What was his reason for the breakup? This is likely the key to understanding why he did it. Of course he could have just said "Well it's over bye" or lied, but if he was honest, his reason is pretty important.
How can someone who claims to love God hurt a fellow believer like that?
i regret all the things i didnt say while i was with him...i know i cant just blame him.
thisiskris89 (post: 1598684) wrote:i was also told after that he has been knwn to manipulate people by using there feelings...i guess part of me feels like he has a warm loving heart but i guess i dont want to think about it cuz i dont want m feelings for him to resurface.part of me thought maybe Satan made him dump me cuz i would have helped keep him on track.i made sure i behaved and tried not to "turn him on"(happened anyway though i guess).i didnt wanna get him riled up and then be like ,NO!that would be cruel.
But i think that is a stretch.
Xeno (post: 1598685) wrote:1. You know, People say a lot of things.
2. According to scripture...I'm not aware of Satan being able to make anyone do anything.
3. So what did you do? Dress like a frumpy old cat lady? Maybe that's why he broke up with you, because you were intentionally not being yourself because you were under the impression you could prevent him from sinning somehow.
thisiskris89 (post: 1598687) wrote:1:dude it was the pastor
2:yeah i know im silly
3:no i just ment i didnt like kiss his neck and touch him...inaproprietly
ive had dreams about him 2 recently he was with another chick and then last night i dreamt we were gettin married.i feel so embarressed about this ><
Xeno wrote:Well if you weren't planning on having sex with him then I would hope you were touching each other inappropriately.
thisiskris89 wrote:The pastor talked to a fellow leader in the church that knows him very well.
They are both very reliable sources seriously they are wonderful men of God.
i cuddled and kissed him on the cheek and stroked his hair.did he think i didnt care for him?
Nate (post: 1598695) wrote:Again, that doesn't make them infallible judges of character. Just because someone is a devoted follower of God does not make them automatically correct about everything.
Depending on positioning and whatnot concerning cuddling, I can personally say that this sounds like stuff my relatives used to do to me when I was a kid. Or what you do to a pet dog/cat. While it is affectionate, it doesn't necessarily indicate romantic affection, and that may have been the problem.
While I'm not saying "Yeah you should have just done whatever," it may not have been for him. He personally may have felt like there was something wrong with him and he didn't feel like the relationship was solid. This doesn't mean that you did anything wrong or have problems. It just would mean you were incompatible people. If I was with a girl and she refused to kiss me on the lips, due to my severe self-esteem issues I would feel like she thought I was ugly or inadequate in some way and didn't actually have feelings for me. I would not be able to continue a relationship with that girl. I don't feel like this makes me a bad person, it's just how I perceive affection. If a girl is uncomfortable with doing that with me, then we just aren't right for each other, and neither one of us is wrong.
Crossfire (post: 1598696) wrote:Just so there's no miscommunication, has your mother been in direct contact with your boyfriend? Like, does she sit with you during Church and stuff?
thisiskris89 wrote:OH GOSH!he does have self esteem issues,ithink thats why he got into "stuff".
but i explained myself and always told him he was attractive and smart and and talented and stuff
Nate (post: 1598699) wrote:That would be logical judging from my own experience.
There are girls I am friends with who would never date me in a thousand years who say the same things to me.
thisiskris89 (post: 1598670) wrote:Well we were in church(thats where we met)and he takes me to an empty room and is like"Ok,this is awkward.I've been doing some thinking-"
I say right away "I already know what yer gonna say"then I ran away and sobbed in the bathroom.Maybe I am afraid to no the true answer cuz it would hurt bad.He said before I ran off "its not the reason you think(sex)"but i am sure that was a major factor.we havnt spoken since we dont look at eachother...I feel like im gonna burst...
QtheQreater (post: 1598704) wrote:Okay, I don't know you and you are definitely thinking more with your heart than your head right now since this is such an emotional situation, but this suggests to me that you refused to let him communicate with you. That part is betrayal on your side. He's probably upset, too. I don't think I could face somebody who wasn't willing to listen to something I wanted to tell them, especially if it was awkward, painful, and likely to hurt the relationship. You didn't actually let him say it, so you don't know what he meant. You're doing way more damage to yourself right now than hearing him out would have, whether or not it really was a relationship breaker. Assumptions are the killers in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. You can learn from this whole thing.
As far as dreams go, if you spend your time thinking a lot about something, you're going to have weird dreams about it. That's the way it works. They don't really mean anything.
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