Lynna wrote:...if you believe something because it's true, or because its what you want to believe?
Sometimes both of those can be our reasons at the same time. I wanted to believe in Jesus when I was 14, but I wanted to do more research before I made the decision, since in my view, believing in something does not necessarily make it true. But at the same time, I have discovered that if a person does not wish to believe in something, even if you mount all the available evidence at your disposal, that person will find some way to explain away the evidence.
Lynna wrote:I've been finding lately that now, when listening to sermons, I am a lot more prone to disagree with parts of it than to agree. I don't mean that I'm doubting all of Christianity or anything, I guess I'm just a lot more critical of sermons. I don't think this is really a bad thing, but it does make me feel like I'm being really negative/narrow-minded/stubborn.
I think you have to look at how you disagree in context. Not agreeing with something does not automatically make you a cynical or narrow-minded person, especially if it is informed disagreement.
Lynna wrote:And sometimes I wonder if I believe certain things about Christianity that a bunch of other Christians disagree with because they're true or because they're just what I want to believe.
Perhaps it would be worth your time writing down a list of all the "contentious things" (in your opinion) that you believe, and next to each one of them, writing down the reasons and evidence you have for holding those beliefs?
One thing to note is that Christians will never completely agree with each other on everything in the same way at the same time, even for very "important" topics such as predestination, the relationship between faith and science, the application of biblical ethics in a secular society, etc. Nobody is the complete source of truth in everything in life.
Lynna wrote:I also always seem to have a different interpretation of a lot of verses/passages than the pastors seem to have, which really makes me feel weird because these people have studied the Bible far longer than I have. I sometimes wonder if I'm being the arrogant youngster who thinks they know everything.
The fact that you wonder if you are being arrogant because you disagree with the pastors' views makes me think that you are actually not arrogant. Most arrogant-minded people do not realise or admit that they are arrogant. Disagreeing with someone's views does not automatically make you arrogant. I think you are right to be somewhat cautious because you recognise that the pastors have spent more years studying the Bible than you, but also recognise that they are humans, and every human's interpretation of Scripture is coloured by their cultural background and family upbringing, amongst other factors. It is right to show respect for people in general, but do not think that respect means you must agree with everything a person says or does.
It's also true that being an expert in one discipline (e.g. theology) does not make a person an expert in other disciplines, or even disciplines that may be related under some circumstances (e.g. Ancient Near Eastern culture and literature). My suggestion is to think about the reasons as to why you disagree with your pastors, and note down if the area of disagreement is a discipline that you know the pastors' would have studied a lot in, as well as seeking other sources of information to gain more understanding (e.g. online research, academic essays, etc.).
Lynna wrote:I guess I've just gotten tired of taking everything that they say at face value over the years. Still, I don't want to keep having these feelings of being annoyed and can't come away from it feeling positive about what I've heard.
So how do you respond when you disagree with something in a sermon? Do you have any advice for me?
And, erm, did this even make any sense?
I do not have an "answer" for you, instead I would suggest that you consider the possibility that people will go through life having many unresolved questions about a great number of things which will remain sources of tension. But while we cannot know everything to our satisfaction, I think that with time we could learn to master and live with these "tensions". I have found prayer and reflection about my life in general to be helpful in this regard. As I think about my life, I realise that the questions and tensions I have do not stop me from enjoying life or relating to my family and friends in positive and meaningful ways.
I am a person that likes neat and tidy answers to life's big questions. But as I've gotten older and my life experience has increased a little more, I do not think that there are always neat and tidy answers to everything in life. Hence I believe learning to live joyfully with unanswered questions is important.
I hope you've found something in my response that helped.