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Please just pray for me.

There's a lot happening in my life all at once and I am terribly overwhelmed --and close to having a total breakdown.

Both of the animals are sick/have something going on and have to see specialists at the vet school almost 2 hours away. Marzipan Anne the Kitty of Doom goes this Thursday to see internal medicine. Zeus "Zeus the Moose" Alexander goes on June 7th to see dermatology for this recurring, frustrating allergy/rash issue that we can't seem to get on top of.

I'm in the midst of fighting for services from the state --and am prepping for a 2nd fair hearing. I've also been referred to 2 new specialists --one for my knee that I hurt when I fell last month and one for my migraines. My guy friend has become more distant for some reason and it's hard. Finances are rocky due to vet expenses and other stuff.

I don't know if I'm somehow being tested. I just want a break --a reprieve. I've had enough for a while.

I can feel myself shutting down and withdrawing into a depressive episode. Which tends to happen when I get overwhelmed. Then the enemy likes to whisper lies to me that I know intellectually aren't truth and aren't reality, but it's hard to fight them when one is exhausted and spent. My mind has been slipping to not-good places.

Please pray. I need some refreshing --some refueling --for me to be able to keep going.

Hi Sheenar, will continue to pray that God gives you the strength to get through this difficult time.
The devil is a liar and wants to destroy us all, don't stop believing in the love God has for you.
You are His child, you are loved.

Will be praying Sheena

Will be praying Sheenar.

Sheenar, I hope you’re okay that I asked a friend to pray for you too. (All I told him really was the bare minimum. He’s the same friend who helped/helping me.)
Sheenar, is Zeus a golden retriever by any chance? My family has three and two of them have had that issue.

Hang in there.

Thanks, y'all.

Zeus is a black Labrador Retriever.

The vet hospital at A&M had a cancellation, so they got Zeus in to see dermatology this coming Wed. Marzipan (the kitty)'s appointment on Thursday went okay --she was shaved for an ultrasound (and looks funny) and the ultrasound came out okay --they aren't sure why she is losing weight. Some sort of nutrient absorption issue is suspect --they drew blood for a GI panel and we should get the results sometime Monday. One amazing thing that happened is another client overheard me trying to arrange a payment plan and paid for $300 of Marzipan's bill! What a huge blessing! The Lord provides!

I'm exhausted still. Have another long week ahead --2 appointments for me and a day at A&M in between. Then the next week, I go for a MRI of my knee.

I'm so ready to have some down time --a few days to myself to just rest and recover. I'm so, so tired.

You sound like you still have a lot on your plate but it's awesome that someone would do that for you with Marzipan's bill. The Lord surprises with the generosity of strangers surprisingly often. Remind me to go to bed earlier for the rest of the week so we can chat at some point.

Marzipan's GI panel came out okay (they weren't able to run the full panel, but did the most important parts). So I was told by the internal medicine vet that that leaves, since we've ruled everything else out, either Inflammatory Bowel Disease or Lymphoma in the GI tract as the causes for her weight loss, ravenous hunger, etc. Since I can't afford for them to do an endoscopy to get a biopsy of her gut to know for sure which, they want to start her on a long-term steroid to bring down inflammation and hopefully help her put weight back on/absorb nutrients again. The only thing is we have to first rule out her having a fungal infection in her gut --otherwise the steroid would probably kill her (it greatly lowers the immune system).

Zeus was found to have the same thing my last dog (Leon) had --we saw the same dermatologist that saw Leon the last time. But the dermatologist is confident the outcome this time will be different because there is a new medication available that won't affect his ability to work, but will help stop the cycle of itch/scratch/infection. So, we're hoping this will work!

My fair hearing for services from the state (the program I'm trying to get into) is this coming Monday the 9th.

I have some tests this week, but other than that, I am done with medical appointments at least for a week or two, which I am grateful for.

Pain is messing with my head still. I've been struggling a lot with a depressive episode. I had to call the crisis line last week because I was so overwhelmed. Doing a little better, but still rocky. I was put with a case manager with the Behavioral Health side of my insurance and she is working to help get me into a pain management clinic. Just will take a while to get everything processed and get an appointment.

Good things: I got to spend the weekend with family, including a couple of relatives from New Orleans that I haven't seen since I was 12. It was really fun!

I also have been approved for 2 days a month to have someone from Tri-County to take me to the grocery store and/or any other errands I need to run (2 hours each of those days). That will be a huge help!

So, some still stressful things, but some good things as well.

Pain is really screwing with my mind.It's really exhausting. I've been in a dark place mentally and I can't seem to quite shake it.

I'm so tired of having to continually fight to get transportation to appointments (my transportation to counseling today had a snafu, so that's not fun), to get access to care (especially pain management), to get services --and the isolation from being in my apartment alone for such long periods of time is getting to me. Also finances --have my own expenses plus the animals now needing medication and supplements to help them.

I had a re-evaluation last week to test my independent living/abilities/cognition and I now qualify for the program we are doing the hearing for --we started the hearing on Monday, but the officer didn't have the documentation she needed to make a decision, so the hearing has been rescheduled (don't have a date yet) --hopefully not too long from now so I can start receiving services. I really badly need the help.

There are good things already happening and good things in progress. Please pray for the Lord's strength to help me hang in there and hold on. I'm really physically and emotionally spent and exhausted. There are indeed many good things going on --the rough things just are really weighing on me currently. I get to have brunch with a good friend on Thursday, so trying to keep my mind on that as something to look forward to.

Praying for you, Sheenar. That's really tough, but you are loved and you are going to get through this. It's good to hear that you have some things to look forward to.