CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Okay, this is going to sound like a really stupid problem or whatever but prayer is prayer right? Really what I'm asking for is peace and advice I guess...Well I'm turning sixteen in a few months and my parents want me to have a sweet sixteen, the only problem is I don't want one. The reason why I don't want one is because I know their going to make it all cheesy and girly and sad and I'm a big crier and I just don't want to have to deal with that. I just want a nice happy time with all of my friends and not necessarily have a big party because that's not the kind of person I am. Next thing you know their counting coins (they have a giant bucket of coins for college and sweet sixteen fund) and asking me questions about my sweet sixteen and it's weird but it's kinda making me feel a bit depressed especially since I told them I didn't want to. Also, what makes it worse is that my dad wants to do a father daughter dance thing and since I cry a lot its going to make me feel older than what I am and sentimental. I don't want to sound selfish to them because I know they really want this for me, but if its making me feel this way day after day and every time they talk about it, I don't think its fair for me to have one. Also, I don't want them spending money on something I wont enjoy... Please pray that I find peace with this. I know this might be a really stupid topic.

It's not stupid. I feel nearly the same way, actually (I'll be sixteen in less than a month). The only two friends that I would invite to my party live 300+ miles away from me in opposite directions, so I told my mom that having some family over for guests would be perfect. Just have a heart-to-heart with your parents, and let them know how you feel and why you feel that way. Sweet-sixteens are supposed to be happy and fun, not sentimental to the point of being sad, especially if you're worried this much. I'll be praying for you to find some solace in this as well.

Praying. God is big enough to handle any problem. Maybe you should tell your parents why you don't want it and ask why they want it. And you can both weigh it out

Thanks you guys, tried talking to my mom first, didn't go so well...but at least I feel better? XD aw well..

To hell with "talking" about it, "tell" them you do not want one. Be plain, clear, and concise. Conveying the point that you don't want something is not that hard to do. And if they continue to plan and proceed to throw this party anyway after you've done this, then the party is more for them than it is for you.

I know what you mean, Whisper. It's not too dumb at all. Unless you're asking for something wrong, I don't think anything is ever too pointless to pray about. Even if it's something that isn't that important, if anything you're showing that you trust God with your life and you want Him to have a part in it. And I know how you feel. I'm not really the party type either, and I have a hard time enjoying myself in that kind of setting. I'll be praying that you and your parents come to an understanding, and that you're able to enjoy yourself for your birthday, regardless of what you end up doing.

Xeno wrote:To hell with "talking" about it, "tell" them you do not want one. Be plain, clear, and concise. Conveying the point that you don't want something is not that hard to do. And if they continue to plan and proceed to throw this party anyway after you've done this, then the party is more for them than it is for you.

I understand what you're saying, and it does seem like the most logical approach, technically. But looking at Whisper's point of view, it seems to me like she's trying to respect and honor her parents, even if it isn't exactly what she wants. And maybe that's foolish, but I believe it's the Christian approach, and I really respect her for it. Maybe she could be more assertive about her opinions; but not to the point of disrespecting her parents. She's still 15 going on 16, so it should still be important to her. I think if anything she's just worried about finding that line where she can strongly tell her parents "I really don't want this party" without being disrespectful. Correct me if I'm wrong, Whisper. I don't want to stereotype you.
*shrug* That's just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth.

ClaecElric4God wrote:I understand what you're saying, and it does seem like the most logical approach, technically. But looking at Whisper's point of view, it seems to me like she's trying to respect and honor her parents, even if it isn't exactly what she wants. And maybe that's foolish, but I believe it's the Christian approach, and I really respect her for it. Maybe she could be more assertive about her opinions; but not to the point of disrespecting her parents. She's still 15 going on 16, so it should still be important to her. I think if anything she's just worried about finding that line where she can strongly tell her parents "I really don't want this party" without being disrespectful. Correct me if I'm wrong, Whisper. I don't want to stereotype you.
*shrug* That's just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth.

I also don't want to place Whisper into a pre-defined box, which I may have done considering my own upbringing had birthday parties/events killed before age 15. I don't see why something like this should be important to her. It is important to some people and not to others. It is not disrespectful to tell your parents you don't want something they want you to have. It becomes disrespectful depending on how she's goes about it. If she screams and yells at her parents about "not wanting some stupid party" then it is disrespectful, if she politely tells them that she just doesn't want to have/see the point in having the party and would not find any enjoyment in it, that is perfectly respectful.

And if you're implying that it would seem ungrateful, it gives the impression that she would rather the money they want to spend on this party go towards something else that she would get more enjoyment or more use out of, such as college or a car.

ClaecElric4God wrote:I know what you mean, Whisper. It's not too dumb at all. Unless you're asking for something wrong, I don't think anything is ever too pointless to pray about. Even if it's something that isn't that important, if anything you're showing that you trust God with your life and you want Him to have a part in it. And I know how you feel. I'm not really the party type either, and I have a hard time enjoying myself in that kind of setting. I'll be praying that you and your parents come to an understanding, and that you're able to enjoy yourself for your birthday, regardless of what you end up doing.

Xeno wrote:To hell with "talking" about it, "tell" them you do not want one. Be plain, clear, and concise. Conveying the point that you don't want something is not that hard to do. And if they continue to plan and proceed to throw this party anyway after you've done this, then the party is more for them than it is for you.

I understand what you're saying, and it does seem like the most logical approach, technically. But looking at Whisper's point of view, it seems to me like she's trying to respect and honor her parents, even if it isn't exactly what she wants. And maybe that's foolish, but I believe it's the Christian approach, and I really respect her for it. Maybe she could be more assertive about her opinions; but not to the point of disrespecting her parents. She's still 15 going on 16, so it should still be important to her. I think if anything she's just worried about finding that line where she can strongly tell her parents "I really don't want this party" without being disrespectful. Correct me if I'm wrong, Whisper. I don't want to stereotype you.
*shrug* That's just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth.

No, that's exactly how I'm feeling. I don't want to seem disrespectful and I also don't want them to feel bad about the whole thing.

Well, I'm still having the party ;( but I'm going to try my best to have fun and not mope around. I'm just gonna end up making myself feel worse. Please keep praying so that I may have peace and have fun though Maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking.

praying that everything works out for you.